Like many a working programmer, I get to see the results of cargo cult programming a lot. To those of us who know better, it is evil, but I decided to sit down and write up a quick article on why it is evil. After all, the very reason that most cargo culters cargo cult is that they do not believe that it is evil.

Here is my composite picture of a cargo cult programmer: our cargo-culter is Joe Cargo (I'm feeling creative today). Joe's interest in computers is mild. There is probably a fascinating story of how he got stuck in IT in the first place. Maybe it started out by setting up a wiki for a few friends. Or doing a quick and dirty website for a local ma and pa shop. Perhaps he worked at Megacorp, where the path to IT aid is a mile long trail of paper and he got conscripted by his real department to fill the gap in their IT resources, only to find his stopgap skills worth more than whatever it was he got hired for (as though anyone could remember). In any event, he never really moved beyond that point. He surfs the web and slaps together whatever kind of, almost, sort of, probably, if you don't look at it cockeyed works to complete the task at hand. He has no formal training and has never given any thought to what "best practices" would be. Manual, repetitive work is a way of life. He does not give it a second thought. Almost every other job in the world is based around repetitious labor, why should this be any different? Joe meanders from project to project and company to company always in the dark as to the real world of programming and computer science. If Joe ever meets a true practitioner of the craft, he would regard him as a wizard, dark and terrible, but useful.

Joe Cargo is probably fairly proud of his work. Not excited by his craft, but satisfied with a job that he believes is well done. It runs, after all and there are a lot of lines packed into a lot of files. He probably has no clue that someone more skilled than he, let's call him Sam Sixpack, views the whole creation as the spawn of Satan. Sam Sixpack looks at Joe Cargo's work and sees unnormalized tables--and I don't mean the kind that should be 5NF. No, I mean the 250 column wide variety with repetitive data and would-be primary keys that are based on names that are not always consistent. He sees work that takes hours to run, rather than minutes, worst case. He sees code that has been copied and pasted all over the code base, rather than centralized in a function, class, module, or what have you. When Sam sees this, he groans at the hours it will take him to fix or update every single instance of that one block of code. Sam sees code that feels dirty, rather than clean or elegant. It lacks formatting, it rambles, it does unnecessary work. In general, it just does not make sense.

If we assume that this is a reasonably accurate composite of most cargo culters, it is not too hard to examine it and pick out the hows and the whys. Why is easy. Cargo culting is the result of laziness. Larry Wall once wrote that one of the virtues of a programmer was laziness, but this is another kind of laziness. The laziness that Wall wrote about was a programmer who refused to do work that could be automated and, so, would put in extra work to save manual effort in the future. Cargo culting is based on a laziness, not of overall work, but of the mind. They cannot be bothered to think. They see something, but it would require straining the brain too much to understand it. If everyone took this approach to technology, we would still be pushing rocks around with our bare hands because no one would have seen the utility in investing in tools.

What can those of us who care more do? Unfortunately, not much. Cargo culters got where they are through sheer sloth. If they could not be bothered to learn on their own, when computer books, articles, and resources are plentiful (or even just learn from the code they steal on a regular basis) there will not be much that you can teach them. Those who want to learn, learn more from having a knowledgeable person nearby. Those who do not, will not learn anything either way. In the final analysis, cargo culting is like any other form of laziness in business. It can only be handled by the person in question shaping up or shipping out.

It is sad because it is bad for everyone, whether they realize it or not. Businesses get sloppy, second rate software. Users get a tool that is often the bane of their very waking existence. Next-gen coders get headaches from trying to clean up the mess sufficiently to keep their own jobs. Finally, the cargo culters themselves get a bad time of it. The fruits of this mudball building cannot be hidden indefinitely, even if the cause of it can. The cargo culter may be fired, or leave under increasing pressure to maintain the impossible. In any event, they do not get the best they could have, had they built something well. Their own skills (what few they have) decrease in value, since the culter does not learn (if they did, they would not remain cargo culters) and keep up with an ever changing industry. So, just remember, when you see a cargo culter, you see a history of everyone involved losing.